Thursday, June 12

Do you smell that?
I say this all time, and I seldom hear agreement. I've been told that I possess super-human sense of smell. This isn't necessarily the superpower I would choose, but you take what you can get. Sure, there are professions that this would come in handy: I could work for the gas company and be mounted on the front of the van and be driven around town to detect gas leaks, or be one of those guys who smells underarms to determine deodorant effectiveness. But really, I don't think I would be too happy with either of those. It gets so bad that I can literally detect when Mike has passed gas within the first second of discharge, assuming he is within a 10ft radius of me. That said, here is my list of common (or semi-common) household odors that I would be happy to never smell again as long as I live (sorry mom, but the first 3 have been etched into my sinuses by you):

1. burnt anything
2. cooked brussel sprouts or cabbage
3. vinegar
5. any girls' lip smakers, chapstick, or scented body glitter
4. vomit
6. cough syrup
7. Mike's gas
8. stadium bathrooms
9. nursing homes
10. hair relaxer or afro sheen
11. I reserve this spot for something that I surely have forgotten that most definitely induces my gag reflex. any suggestions?